green is the colour for fall.

moved.

2007-07-06T21:12:00.001+08:00

sabrina has moved her blog's ass to this sexy page.

'i'm yours' is a pretty song.

2007-07-05T00:06:00.000+08:00

i don't post lyrics up often. but here.

Well you done done me and you bet I felt it
I tried to be chill but you're so hot that I melted
I fell right through the cracks
and now I'm trying to get back
Before the cool done run out
I'll be giving it my bestest
Nothing's going to stop me but divine intervention
I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait, I'm yours

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment maybe sing with me
A lá peaceful melody
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love loved love loved

So I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

I've been spending way too long checking my tongue in the mirror
And bending over backwards just to try to see it clearer
My breath fogged up the glass
And so I drew a new face and laughed
I guess what I'm saying is there ain't no better reason
To rid yourself of vanity and just go with the seasons
It's what we aim to do
Our name is our virtue

I won't hesitate no more, no more
It cannot wait I'm sure
No need to complicate
Our time is short
It can not wait, I'm yours

Well no no, well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love
Listen to the music of the moment come and dance with me
A lá one big family (2nd time: A lá happy family)
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved love love love

I won't hesitate no more
Oh no more no more no more
It's your God-forsaken right to be loved, I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, I'm yours

No I won't hesitate no more, no more
This cannot wait I'm sure
There's no need to complicate
Our time is short
This is our fate, The sky is yours...

jason mraz. it's so pretty. it's song number 15 on your left.

and i realised that the first picture was a bit cut off. so here.

there you go. again, it's by scott. and no, char and rae, wrong answers.

anyway, i dreamt of rainbows last night. it was nice. 3 rainbows. very cool.

by some miracle, sabrina passed her accounting test. and her leads test. thank the heavens and praise my lord.

normalcy. i've gotten used to not having it anymore, but i have to admit, that occasionally, i crave it. looking at people with their normal, mundane, boring lives, i think, hey, no drama there. and boy, that'd be nice occasionally.

i love the eccentricness of life though. adds flavour.

that's when i knew.

screw it la.

elevator.

2007-07-02T15:10:00.001+08:00

fancy seeing you here.

i'm begging you to be my escape.

2007-07-01T23:52:00.000+08:00

they're closing up, so that's a relief. in case you have no idea what i'm going on about, all the better for you. too much info. anyway.

yeah. so, it's all wonky, and emokinko and no sign of that whole zen/chi/calm thing. i'm telling you, i was never meant to be zen/chi/calm. but it was the effort that counts okay.

but yeah, in other news, there's nothing to report except that hey, it's pretty quiet here, y'know?

paperclips.

2007-06-27T22:13:00.000+08:00

at one point, you just kinda stop and think,

so who's the one looking out for me?

ahh ahhhh ahhhhh

2007-06-26T21:17:00.000+08:00

hello. i'm on the pc so this will take a while to type.

last night it rained rather heavily. after midnight i think. i couldn't sleep so i sat by the window and stared out. i really need to get an alcove in the next room. anyway, the rain late at night always makes me think. and i thought far and wide.

wait ah. my jaw hurts.

okay, so anyway, yeah. i got to thinking about some stuff that have been bugging me lately. and i made some realizations that i thought made sense - then.

but i just got an email and it made me think some more and now i'm all lost again. which is okay really, cause you don't find your way unless you're lost. i mean, it's not good to always be lost but i know from past experiences that you learn more when you're struggling.

so yeah. er, i really have no idea what else to add to that. and it's real hard to type with this chunky keyboard.

school tmr. i decided it's time to go back. all these days home alone and it gets to me. there's so much ironing and making meatballs can help with the boredom.

things on the david & molly front is going all right so we're happy.

oh i like this song. relient k's be my escape.

i'm infactuated.

2007-06-23T21:44:00.000+08:00

i love maroon 5.

anyway, the surgery yesterday went fine. for hours after that, everything tasted like cardboard. eating ice cream was like having cold and wet cotton wool on your tongue. but my tastebuds came back today, so i had a tub of ice cream (nurse's orders, i swear), my favourite porridge and a slice pizza, though that took an hour to eat.

at least there's no severe pain, thank god; just a dull ache. and oh, apple juice when mixed with blood tastes the same. hehehehehe. well, yeah.

okay, that's about it for now. i'm severely tired and sleepy. the pills are fun.

and i finished my news writing! :D it's just the SP now. darn.

but i love maroon 5.

fancy that

2007-06-19T00:26:00.000+08:00

today has been a productive david & molly day.

i would upload pictures but it's late, i have a headache and i'm downright lazy.

it's been a long, frutiful, crazy, fun, exciting day. and the meeting with the band went well, if you asked me. they're such endearing and adorable boys.

anyway, i meant to say that john mayer's dreaming with a broken heart is nice. and i'm in a james morrison kinda mood, you know?

best way to make a headache worst? have a cookie for dinner, and hip hop jelly for dinner.

hell, i have a pretty lamp.

if that's all right

2007-06-15T23:26:00.002+08:00

the charger's acting up again. it was all well but now it's acting up again.

anyway, today was the dental consultation and it's confirmed. for the better good, all four wisdom teeth aka molars aka a pain in the butt will be extracted via surgery. and since i'm just a tad bit terrified, i've been asked to go under general anesthesia. which means i'll be out for the whole time. sounds good to me.

and i'll be on mc for 8 days. which means there's a high chance i'll miss a lot of the first week of school.

after the dental, as promised, ma took nana and i to holland village's lim's to shop for the new room. ma generously bought me the prettiest tissue box ever.

taadaa. PRETTY. and i bought cushions and cushion covers (in red and gold of course), and a paper lamp that will be customized and designed and beaded up and put as the main light.

i am so happy and excited.

but the highlight of the day has got to be when i was busy shopping around for carpets and rugs (guess in which colours) when we walked into a small shop selling such stuff at holland. it was one of those turkish carpet things. and they had pretty pretty stuff. so we went in, and the sales guy asked if we were looking for anything in particular. i said no, but my mom went to say,

"yes, my daughter here is getting married".

before i had time to protest, the prettiest things were being whisked in our direction, every single item fit for a queen and king. and then, AND THEN, he whipped out from the hidden corners of his magic trove . . .

THE PRETTIEST, MOST GORGEOUS, MOST AMAZING BED SET. RED AND GOLD WITH BEADS AND LACES AND INTRICATE DESIGNS, AND I SWEAR WAS MADE FOR ME AND MY ROOM IN MIND.

we kinda stood there gaping at it, revelling in its beauty.

i wished right there and then that i really was planning a wedding and that i could swipe out the husband-to-be's credit card and buy it and bring it home and roll around in it with the pillow cases over my head like a pretty hat.

but alas, we had to leave the shop (after a display of a carpet thing with rubies and gems and crystals and jade, and oh my god it was beautiful; i didn't dare ask for a price) empty handed (at least i still had my purchases from lim's).

dinner, a little more shopping and home we went.

it was a fine day.

please sent me flowers and stuff after my surgery. and porridge. yummy porridge.

omg no donuts for weeks!

dally loving

2007-06-14T01:56:00.000+08:00

i just spent an awful amount of time looking at some couple's gorgeous wedding pictures; wishing that i too have a beautiful wedding to look forward to like tomorrow or something.

SIGH.

anyhows, there's a dental this friday and apparently, it's in my best interest to cut out all four wisdom teeth at once.

how charming.

at least an old friend re-poped. that's always nice.

it's 2am and i think i'm sleepy. my fan's making weird sounds though. it's like being in a spaceship.

and it's blocking my ears.

singapore lacks boyfriendable guys.

waking up at the ritz with you.

2007-06-12T22:02:00.000+08:00

if you want more, more, more,
then jump for my love.

shake your booty and dance along yo!

okay anyway, yesterday was the official start of the holidays but we know better. the test today was... well, it was an accounting test. it would have probably been easier for me if it were in french. or sanskrit.

the new room is falling into place. i need to paint it. i'm torn between deep purple or deep red. i've had a red room before. so i'm leaning towards the purple. purple walls, red and gold furnishings, wooden furniture i'm planning to stain dark :D lovely.

david & molly!

well then, i think that's about it for now. ciao, ma cherie.

was just waiting for your phone call

going indie

2007-06-10T18:12:00.000+08:00

okay, needless to say, satuday was fun.

first we went to the auditions at timbre and while some good bands didn't make it in, others did. then we trooped over to substation to catch the last few mintues of caracal's set. and of course, that was awesome. and then we went back to timbre supposedly for the memorial but that got pushed back so we sat through the love experiment's set and they make good music. then finally, the service started. after all that, it was off to plaza sing to watch ocean's thriteen, which was better than ocean's twelve, but i think not as fun as ocean's eleven.

and the room's still not done up. i just need to change the sheets and vacuum one last time.

tmr's mm study day. hoorah.

and darn, now i have to find my shades locally.

donate generously to the sabrina needs new stuffs for her room fund.

just one more plane ride and it's done

2007-06-08T00:54:00.000+08:00

first, i wanna start off with a CONGRATS DADDY to my father who got 3rd in his golfing thing. see, golf has benefits. like gifts and nougats and stuffs. and it was all for charity. i love all these charity balls, and galas and gofling tournaments.

now, i was thinking about this on the bus ride home. i was coming in from town so it was a long, comfortable ride. anyway, i was thinking. everyone has their own little place where they go to to escape. a few years back, for me, it was on the deck of a boat.

just sitting there, with nothing but miles of sea around you, it was, i think, one of those times that i truly felt 'free'. like there were no obligations, commitments, shit hanging above my head. it was just me and myself. and it was good. of course, since i haven't gotten around to buying a boat, i had to find a place on land.

while i feel safest in my bed, there's one place that i go to to seek solace. it's hidden in a very public place. i seem to be wierd that way. i find comfort in chaos. it calms me. but anyway, i've only been to this place twice. so it's like a temple to me. there's a little corner, hidden from view, unless you turn. but it's small and snug and lovely.

on regular days, this place is nothing but another room in a big place. but when i truly need it, i find myself going there, consciously or otherwise, and the room becomes all welcoming. it's like a pair of outstrech arms pulling you in and hugging you tight.

it's nice. yeah, it's nice.

on a different tone,

it's like watching from the outside what's happening on the inside.

why are we all so anal about life ah? like whatever happened to that whole come what may concept? i haven't had my starbucks in like the longest time. i haven't had jellybeans for the longest time. i haven't just sat down and took a breather in the longest time. i haven't walked home in the longest time (mainly cause i'm a lazy bitch and i'm never wearing comfy shoes).

okay, my point is that we are such noobs. you, me and them. all noobs.

er. i have no way to end this. this is by far the random-ess entry. well, yeah. so, bye now.

they aren't the only ones who cry when they see you.

2007-06-06T00:14:00.000+08:00

first and foremost,
are those words they throw around in spell cast even ENGLISH?

and i need a dose of bob marley now.

i feel ill, sick, tired, confused, angry, lost, sad, missed, unloved, loved, teased, small, bloated, all that and more.

i realised today that as much of a bitch i can be, there's still a part of me that's the same person as i was before all this began.

and i really, really want jellybenas right now.

oh god, it's 1am already. my brain stopped responding about ten minutes ago, which resulted me in blankly staring into bob, wondering why on earth people go for cosmetic surgery and that maybe, pyschologists should open shop near clinics.

i'm sorry. if it's not written clearly enough everywhere else, here it is here. i suppose it's gotten to the point where a few more steps either take us to one end of the spectrum or the other. and i guess now we're just teethering on the brink of the more bleugh side of it all. i've missed you. and it sucks thinking that there's a real possibility i'll leave this place without you to walk out with me.

not a good time to be all wonky and emotional, sab. not a good time.

in a spur of the moment moment, i spent an hour moving room thingys. i cleared a whole level of shelving to transform it into a small desk in the wall. by this time tomorrow, hopefully, that dining table i call a study desk will be out and i'll have more room to roll on the floor. yes, i occasionally find myself lying splat on the floor. and yes, my study desk is actually a dining table. it's in the witness protection programme.

i have to block out thoughts of you so i don't lose my head blue october.

it's time to worry when sabrina ...
randomly decides to move furniture around
contemplates packing up and moving to the country cottage in new zealand
eats a nutella sandwich at 11pm
starts singing to moffats passionately
is no longer dancing to her 'dirty dancing 2' soundtrack
stops replying you on msn except to babble random sentences
considers going for a nose job, and wondering how to hide the new nose from the mother

well yeah, of course i love you. gee, what a question.

continue to tease, cause baby, we both know how this game is played.
(:

you drag me along like your little rag doll.

2007-06-04T22:01:00.000+08:00

[okay, this is a one-time note. window users, most likely, you will be unable to view the pink and black borders. for those who hate pink, i suppose, yay you. but other than that, the rest of you will see a plain, rather simple blog. mac users, on the other hand, are treated to the pretty pink and black borders. and also, the lips are less purple, more candy pink. i know, i know, mac people are cooler.]

on to the entry proper.

so, school has been alright, i suppose, given the circumstances. scarily, lectures are being cut down. i think it's to give us more time to do projects but frankly, like i said, it scares me a tad bit. i mean, it's like riding the bike without the training wheels or something. okay, maybe not. but still.

anyway, the advert photoshoot went well. i think the last one was awesome shit. i came out better than i hope. well, it wasn't quite as i imagined it to be. but it came out better. see, always invest in a good team, and good cameras. unfortunately, i can't show off the prints, mainly cause the boys have it kept under lock and key, but i promise, it'll be out soon (:

i keep thinking i'm leaving for france soon. it's the weirdest thing.

let me tell you what else's weird. blood donation day. there i was, donating blood. and feeling all fine. and eating the oreos and drinking the milo they provided, privately gloating that i was healthy and not feeling faint like a couple others who had to lie with their feet up.

then after all that, ma, nana and i left for clementi central to shop. and i was alright the whole way through but towards the end, i think it was the heat and all that walking, i suddenly got really, really nauseous. everything became really bright and fuzzy and wobbly. it was like being drunk and on a ship at the same time. and i kinda couldn't remember anything. well, i remember telling my mom i felt faint and that i wanted to sit down. and that i stumbled around and finally ended up slumped in a corner of a kfc. but i remember it as though it was a dream. like i said, weird. a packet of fries, some more milo and a mars bar later i felt fine. tired and sleepy, but fine. and so far, the bruise this time isn't as bad.

it helps to save another life or so, you know.

note to self, go straight to bed after a donation. i think the next one will be in august or september. that's one more thing off my list.

well, it's almost 1am. about time to start on that research essay for tv. at least lectures ain't till 1pm tmr.

ciao, darlings. and paris hilton, honestly, take care in jail. i kinda feel bad for you.

2007-06-01T15:52:00.000+08:00

in the pink of health

a good phone call in the middle of a not so good one revealed that pinkie the file lives on.

hoorah.

i know, i'm happy. thanks all. and thanks to my mm tutor who called with the brill news.

oh look, there was just a text from the red cross telling me to come donate blood. it's a sign i tell you. a sign. sunday is blood donation day. yay! :D

2007-06-01T00:36:00.000+08:00

it just really hit me hard when i realised what i lost.

2007-05-30T21:33:00.000+08:00

this blog has got to be PINKER

newton's streamline song makes me feel happier.

happy pre-vesak day, i suppose.

the past couple of weeks have been a little of a pain in the ass, really. i suppose that's why i got so upset over the file today. besides losing all my mm, mrm and news writing notes, not to mention my foolscape which is where everything is jotted down on, that was the last pink file the shop carried AND there were a couple of other things inside that i really want back.

but i suppose whoever took it, accidentally or otherwise, really likes pink, really wants notes or just really hates me. so fine.

i guess i'll just source out completed notes to zap. and find a new equally pink file (dammit. it was barely a day old), and get a new set of papers to doodle on.

AND david's letter was in there too, i think. so yeah. and other letters to other people. letters. i really should start keeping up with technology.

at one point in time, i was tempted to call up the dad's lawyers and draft out a personal damages suit so i can file them when i find the person who took it. like seriously. unless of course it was accidental. or supernatural.

but like i said, it's been a crazy couple of weeks and today was more or less the last straw; so in line to being a taurusian, i lost it. not completely. but i did.

i really got worked up over my file and its contents. gee.

and thanks to those who shared my grief and concern and pain and agony and sent their prayers (LOL).

and to those others whom i love who have also had a horrible day today, 5 stages of lost. believe me, one of those stages includes delayed hunger :D

see la. i told you now was a good time for that trip to phuket. maybe retail therapy will help. there is the GSS. and on previous trips out, i did fancy a couple of things i saw.

BUT there's the whole i'm-saving-up-for-college thing, and that whole i-really-need-to-focus-on-my-savings-account-going-up-not-down thing so shopping's not on the to-do list now. dang.

outside by staind is nice. i like it.

well, it's almost ten pm and remember that whole 'delayed hunger' i was talking about. yep. it's setting in right about now.

2007-05-30T13:46:00.000+08:00

i love the sound of footsteps down an empty corridoor

this is a mid-day update. pinkie, the hot pink file, has gone missing.

bloody hell.

and yes, sometimes, chocolate bars and coffee and cookies aren't the cure to all troubles.

i bloody stayed up till 1am to do my filing (now it's gone) and clean and sort the mess on my desk.

the life of vice beckons.

2007-05-28T20:18:00.000+08:00

a wad of blues

#$^^%*$(%^%

:D

there, much better.

the last few weeks have been hellish. but hey, that's mcm for you. the arts fest coverage was awesome though. i went back on the opening night and it was better than the media release night.

photo, photo, photo, PHOTO

i have work to do and i think i feel a fever coming.

bloopie and bloopina. LOL.

2007-05-23T22:28:00.000+08:00

my dad is cool because...

- he has his own version of 'this is why i'm hot'
- he says he'll take me to hard rock if i take him to mos
- he takes nana and i to soccer games and lets us curse our hearts out
- he gives us cool phones and stuff if we beg hard enough
- he let me buy nutella behind my mom's back
- he got me that cool winter sweater i've only worn once because it is singapore
- he likes akon more than i do
- he bought my mom huge plants and tulips for valentines
- he agreed to the cigarette deal with me
- he sends nana to school even though it means he has to wake up earlier
- he still thinks i'm his little princess

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YO. I LOVE YOU! :D

ps: my tutor, who has tutored me since FOREVER, is getting married. omg i'm so excited. congratulations again!

2007-05-21T23:43:00.000+08:00

shawls and orange loving

firstly, HAPPY 18TH SARAH LIYANA. 6 YEARS AND COUNTING. ANTI WRINKLE AND FACE FIRMING CREAMS GIRL! :D
(a bit late but still okay. loves!)

this is going to be just an onslaught of words that may or may not make sense.

today was AWESOME. drama went good. i mean, it could always have been better, but as far as it went, it was good. good feedback too so i'm a happy sneezy. then i went to meet the sister in town and shop we did.

fine, so we only bought one item. fine, i bought one item. but it was pretty. and the last piece. and at that price. and it's lovely. i love it. :)

oh yeah, before all that, while i was waiting for the sister to walk her little ass over, i sat at the open air mc cafe by lido and had a cuppa and a good book and boy was that lovely. that was the life. i live for that. i'm going back. soon. like, yeah, once the whole thing boils over. or boils down. whichever is right.

anyway, overall, it was a good day.

my mom won't make me pancakes for breakfast.

me: i feel like having pancakes for breakfast
ma: we don't have pancakes
me; but you look pretty
ma: we don't have pancakes
me: but you're real pretty
ma: stop being dumb. we don't have pancakes!
me: REAL PRETTY, MA
ma: dumb.

oh well. i laid the flattery. sometimes it just doesnt work.

sometimes a lot of things don't work. stuff start off looking like there's no brighter future. a future so bright you have to wear shades at night. but then half way down, something screws something else up. and voila! there goes the bright future. sun sets too soon, everything gets dark and confusing. and people are stumbling about trying to find their way.

yeah. some parts of this feels like that now. i just can't see what the hell is going on here. and there i was thinking that what we had could survive slate and storm. hmph.

i even told myself that stopping caring will maybe help move it all along. hold out any longer and i doubt i'll still be here.

like really.

so yes. shawl or no shawl. i'm hopping on the next bus. i love the thrill of it all. no so much the risk of being on the wrong bus, but the thrill of where it'd take me. it's quite fun, really.

whoa. this is like three wove into one intricate web.

orange is the new love. the sister loves it. duh.

lectures tmr. hoorah.

i wonder if it even makes a difference to try; so this is goodbye

on a completedly different and very real note,
i truly wished you were here, so we can share moments like those.

2007-05-18T23:55:00.000+08:00

i try to say goodbye but i choke

i just saw a HORIZONTAL lightning. it cut across the sky. it was beautifully awesome.

anyway, this weekend will be a super quick breather before the rush of school comes back into play. at least there's drama rehearsal tmr morning to look forward to. and sar, if you're reading this, again, good luck. i wish i could go!

school, ah school. school has been, well, it's been interesting. okay, no, that's not the word. well, those who know, they'll know.

to feel like this. like every inch of me is bruised.

the only part that doesn't hurt right now is the hair. my hair's soft and nice. thanks to baby oil. i love baby oil.

i feel like crap. lol; the last time i said i felt like shit, a friend kindly offered to be the toilet bowl. i thought that was sweet. he thought it was weird that i thought it was sweet. men.

you make me wonder. you honestly make me wonder. like seriously. i realise a lot this week. like stuff i didn't think i would ever have found out if not for recent times. and i remembered the joy of looking for miracles and love and hope in little things. like the little boy at the clinic who couldn't stop saying 'hello' and playing peek-a-boo with me. like that kid at the bus stop months back. like just sitting and chatting. like being in the company of people who car for and love me.

when did we all lose that innocence? when the greatest hurt was when ma won't let me watch my favourite sunday morning cartoon, or get that new doll? damn. the world's spinning too fast.

I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a f--k about you

Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you
Anymore, Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try

maroon 5's makes me wonder.

there are some things even a caramel frap from starbucks can't cure. this happens to be one of 'em.

one day i'll wake up and it won't hurt anymore.
and i'll have a reason.
and know that it has all fell into place.

i hope that day comes fast.

2007-05-16T23:43:00.000+08:00

but you won't find me waiting around

hoorah hoorah.

and so the show begins.

amazing stuff. the past week has been amazing stuff. i mean seriously. i didn't think it could all get this exciting.

there are only 3 songs on my playlist now. jack mannequin's acapella of holiday from real, augustana's boston and spencerlane's meant for you.

i just want it to go a little slower. and a little less dramatically.

it's making me question what on earth everything's about now. i mean, it really slaps you in the face and makes you wonder.

damn, this would be a good time for a tub for ridiculously expensive ice cream.

where is the love when you need it?
where are the cookies?
the jellybeans?
the coffee?
the perfect guy?
the cholocate bars?
the pills?
the faith?
the sleep?
the peace of mind?
the humanity?

baby, you worn me out. and i'm tired of the sunsets. let's screw this one up right.

see! i can make a sentence with one line from each song. i'm good, clean, fun.

2007-05-14T21:41:00.000+08:00

it's hard to say i love you
it's hard to say i need you

my people tell me i'm sick. they told me, gave me prove, but did i listen? no.

now, i just want to curl up in a corner and sleep.

eqjj bq yela cq uh;r.

2007-05-13T17:05:00.000+08:00

what makes me happy

what makes me happier than hearing my favourite song? hearing the acoustic version, of course.

i've heard every single song JM has, in every version, and i swear, it's the only thing pulling me through mrm.

my grandma came to my house at 6.30am to deliver pizza. she is the bomb.

back to media consumption.

oh, how i love ~~you~~ school.

HAPPY MOMMY'S DAY, MA! YOU ARE LOVED A MILLION TIMES OVER BY ME. and nana.

2007-05-11T20:53:00.000+08:00

friday blues

so. it's friday. the whole tgif isn't really setting in. i doubt it'd be setting in for any fridays soon.

i need to call hotels. darn. someone remind me. people, remind me.

i read something somewhere that made me think something and now, well, yeah. there was a picture in the post that kinda hit me like a slap on the face. made me go, "WOOOAAAH!" uh huh ooh yeah. like really. man, when they say a picture speaks a thousand words, i think they meant a picture can slap you a thousand times over.

okay, i MAY be over-reacting ever so slightly, but i think not, my friends. i think not. that was like a sign or something. it was something. okay, i AM over-reacting.

anyway, i was also thinking about another thingy and it made me think. and i'm not sure if they were happy thoughts. i mean, i won't be against it or anything. i do want my friends to be happy and all. but it would be awfully awkward, almost. and i don't even know why i'm thinking about this. i mean, really. why? why, sabby, why.

that little girl was right. i tap into people's emotions too easily.

i feel feverish now.

i promised that donut i would eat it now.

starbucks today was great. i love coffee. coffee should be knighted. i love starbucks. i should date someone who works there. the guy there today was cute. i should go marry him. then i'll get free coffee. and a tumbler. woohoo.

oh darn. spoiler thought. i need to go to my happy place now.

people, take me to my happy place.

i love my people. we are so exciting to be around. my little escapes.

so yes, i think that's about enough for tonight. and i really should be getting back to work. but char has my charger and bob's kinda low so i can't assess anything in my laptop. my desktop's account is nill-o-nill.

&

i just don't want to lose you. i don't want to wake up one day and find you gone. i want to wake up next to you. i want to be the one you have morning coffee with. i want us to just sit at a starbucks and drink banana java and caramel fraps and watch the world pass by. i want to yell at you over the phone. oh no, wait, hmm, i think that depends. but i want to be there when you're pissing mad and give you a cookie and a hug and make it better. like dom on tv today. and i want you to be there and give me jellybeans and help me paint my right fingernails.

i just want to be happy with you and be in love with you. and all that comes with it. i really do.

damn i'm good.

2007-05-11T01:00:00.000+08:00

meant for you

lookie what i found.

i know, spencerlane is love. everytime i hear them, they seem to get better and better.

AND, i have the lyrics to this song. wahaha. i know. i am so fun.

okay, back to school stuffs.

all this talk about love has made me hungry.

and, i am NOT a prevert, contrary to evidence everywhere.

2007-05-10T00:54:00.000+08:00

the soles of our shoes are all worn down

we're too cool.

it's only wednesday, and yet i am already so tired.

and i had to download flock cause i can't seem to upload pictures on safari. for some weird reason.

omg. i have like this stupid 'hotel room' story line flirting around in my head, but i haven't found the time or energy to actually pen it. i'd, like, write a para or two, hate it, delete it, start over, repeat process, then get fed up.

i miss locvid. the joy of having an idea in your head turn into something on screen, shit, that was the life. that was the joy. that is what i live for. at times.

anyway, i'm rambling again. i have work to do. like mm, mrm, advertising, and much, much more. at least the mm test today was all right. not too happy about the leads though.

see? rambling again.

oh yeah. we were at mat central today. gerek.

i love you, or something.

lol. i amuse myself.

2007-05-07T21:33:00.000+08:00

hotel rooms
i wanna wake up next to you every morning

it's monday, but i feel like it's friday and that's no good. no, no.

drama & poetry this morning was fun. salsa, baby.

yeah.

i would list everything that has happened since the last entry, but i think it'd come across as whiny almost, so i'll skip that.

below is a link to yet another vitas video. i've got my family hooked, and i'm going to hook you too. and he smiles WAY more in this. he is just too adorable.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=z2W_35mgBwk

we need that air-con dome.

a last note,

CHARMAINE. YOU BITCH. HAPPY BIRTHDAY. I LOVE YOU LONG TIME, MANY MANY.

2007-05-04T19:41:00.000+08:00

watch

i have a crush on him now. he is such a tease.

2007-05-03T20:15:00.000+08:00

round, round, i get around

i bought new shoes and i twisted my ankle but it's not swollen but i still think it is and my knee hurts. i swear it hasn't quite healed from the sprain. anyhow, the right feels heavy. i think i'll just go to bed.

:D

bye.

[edit]

blake lewis is hot.

and my mom's googling us.

[/edit]

2007-05-02T22:08:00.000+08:00

the adventures of two bimbos

today started off normal enough. all weird days start off normal enough. it rained while i was still asleep and so, in my sleepiness, instead of shutting the windows, i shut the curtains. that's beside the point. when i finally woke up, thinking it was sunday, i had coffee, nutella, and was off to school.

i wore my blue and beige scarf to school. i've grown fond of it, really.

school was weird. i got caught for the sila-ian thing. and advertising and news writing are starting to kick in. management too. and now there's research. brilliantly, all are due in week 5. charming.

and i have a pimple. on my cheek. again, that's beside the point.

the end of school was when the (mis)adventure began. someone turned out to be something i didn't think he was. i lost the scarf. i know. i was depressed. and i wasn't ever wearing it like most of the day cause a classmate went all white boy british rasta on me. and then there were a few more 'set backs' that kinda left me sad. so i wanted to walk home. walking home always makes me feel better.

i was half way down when naj calls screaming that she left mr. tiddlywinkles on the bus. so i told her to meet me at bouna vista (is that how it's spelt? i wouldn't know) so we could check out the depot. so i cabbed down to bouna cause i couldn't be bothered to wait for a bus. and besides, naj was already there. so i met her and we troop down to the depot, laughing and crying and laughing and angry and amused all at once. you have to understand the circumstances under which she lost mr. tiddlywinkles in.

(too many 'so's in that para, i say)

anyway, we got to the depot and the bus dude said there was no laptop and we were all upset and all. but the driver let us on the bus to check anyway. we've never been on a spooky empty bus. anyway, there mr. tiddlywinkles was. i had an image of him as a lost child, calmly sitting on the curb waiting for his mummy to come find him.

it was an interesting, weird, sad, funny and well, weird day.

if the death valley can bloom, then my life can't be too bleak

yeeeaaaahhh.

well, that's all i had to say. oh yeah, also, febreeze is cool shit. i love it.

2007-04-30T19:52:00.000+08:00

you don't know me, you don't even care

i'd prefer not to be rescued.

salvation is here.

when you sway i go weak.

i think i'll go where no one knows my name.

i'm tired of the sunset.

all i want is you.

2007-04-29T14:03:00.000+08:00

& then there was you and i

it's crazy to even think that i was once upon a long time ago in love with someone like you. i think that just goes to show that there aren't enough good enough ~~men~~ guys in my world. seriously. falling for you was a moment of weakness.

the pathetic part was that that wasn't the first time.

but since i have decided to disregard all previous stupid and foolish relationships and attachments, i feel better. you may call it being in denial, but i don't give a pineapple's ass.

i love me, and i love jellybeans.

and for the time being, i think that's enough.

and besides, i have you.

2007-04-29T00:42:00.000+08:00

zook, hawaiian night

i'm real tired so i'll make this quick.

to all that turned up tonight for hawaiian night, thank you.

you guys kick ass.

love,
sabby

2007-04-27T10:03:00.001+08:00

let's pretend we're fine

title from plain white t's. following gibberish is mine.

let's pretend we're fine.
let's pretend you're mine.
let's pretend we're okay.
let's pretend.

cause it's a much better deal,
than what's real.
so let's pretend.
let's just pretend.

let me pretend
for a moment that you're mine.
let me pretend,
for a moment, that we're fine.

ooh it turned out making sense! considering i basically typed what came to mind. i like it. i should let my poetry teacher check it out. it's an improvement from my kat, cat and jack days.

---

as you can see, 'candy empire's jellybeans' on the list has been striked off.

and it's all thanks to wwei!

thanks honey!

2007-04-26T20:53:00.000+08:00

you're a song, and i'm singing along
cause you're my everything

hello!

er. i'm happy and e|k. so, deal with it.

let's see. well. yeah, so a bunch of things happened that made me kinda think a little harder. yes, it's not everyday that sabrina admits she has to think harder.

i got a last brithday message from an old friend. he'll agree it's been 96478783876492 + 2 years since we met. i've missed him. all the kebabs and what not. oh god, i can't even remember the me i was back then. but it was nice to hear from him.

and it was nice to hear from others that i haven't quite kept in touch with.

it wasn't so nice to hear about rk but that's another thing. i'll miss them as a whole i think. yeah, i will.

did you watch idol gives back? the part where josh groban sang with the kids was heartbreaking beautiful. i teared up. it was breath-taking. if i were in the u.s., i would have called.

i was going to say something but i think i'd rather keep it to myself.

congrats to nana's angklung group for getting that silver.

well yeah, i need to go sleep now. i love the moments when you're in bed in between reality and dreams. awesome place.

"his tight was against mine" LOL. god, i can never stop the embarrassment process, can i?

2007-04-25T22:05:00.000+08:00

delectable chunk of meat

i'm watching planet earth, and ewww the bat poop and roaches!

anyway, planet earth is a kick ass show and, well, i don't tell people this but i tear up sometimes. and it makes my jaw drop to australia.

so, today was the day.

it was an awesome day, thanks to everyone who made it all worth while. i'm now listening to the cd that they put together. by far one of the sweetest gifts ever! i can't believe i fell for the whole hospital facade.

and i got hugs and kisses and free stuff. i love birthdays. and i got best wishes from all over the world. i am internationally loved! (i know all this is so ego but it's my birthday, dammit). at the end of the day, it was all well. yes, even that 'delectable chunk of meat' moment made everything great (i am still 10000% embarrassed).

thanks guys. it meant a lot.

omg i'm 18! :D

2007-04-24T22:51:00.000+08:00

just so the question don't come rushing in again, i am not in love.

or at least i think i'm not.

i mean, i do love myself :D

tomorrow, tomorrow!

oh man, i am already looking forward to my cake!

on a sidenote, a friend just said that there's a rule where one person in the relationship is the pretty one and the other is the smart/rich one. i so agree! hilarious.

okay, i need to go paint my own nails, since i can't find the time for the birthday mani/pedi.

2007-04-24T15:49:00.000+08:00

omg it's love i tell you

deja vu. wahahaha.

anyway, it came and went.

2007-04-23T21:00:00.000+08:00

you're like a drug to me,
i could use some abusing.

unfortunately, i found love.

2007-04-22T23:16:00.000+08:00

calling me

pre-birthday weekend. my room smells great, thanks to an early birthday present from my sister. classic roses. my room smells great.

(i always get sick a few days before my birthday - i think it's the weirdest thing.)

my mom won't get me a french boyfriend for my birthday. so much for exploring my options (: i can't believe my mom actually said that. explore.

anyway,

i need to get a job. or something.

school's going fine so far. oh, the joy the future will bring.

on a brighter, but not to bright note, the first draft for three weeks has been printed. i love the ending, but i think it needs more emotion. too narative.

there's a 8am drama and poetry class tmr. which means i should get some sleep.

hello, birthday week (:

2007-04-19T22:25:00.000+08:00

WHITE SWEATER FOR SALE

hello!

okay, i have this sweater that i bought a long time ago cause it's a cute sweater. i've only worn it once, and of course washed it only once.

unforch, it's kinda tight for me and i'm hoping to sell it for the nice good price of $25. negotiation is available, because i am nice. no refunds though. and no trades. meetups and possibly bank transfers. and no dead buyers please.

there were a couple of people who asked me where i got it, so if you're reading this, buy! it's comfy and it's pretty.

colour: slightly off white.
size: s/ch
measurements: 70cm arm downwards and 40cm shoulder across

okay, email me if you're interested: flyyer_@hotmail.com

thanks! (:

2007-04-19T11:50:00.001+08:00

thursday blues.

too much chocolate is actually a bad thing!

time to go prod tvs.

2007-04-17T21:39:00.000+08:00

i have got to be honest here. the v.a. tech shooting has left me a little upset. okay, fine, very upset.

i think it's because most of the victims were youths who were around my age, lives that were still young and innocent.

the shooting happening in the u.s. may be in a place far away, but there's still that fear. the fear that it could happen here, the fear that life is so, so uncertain that you could begin the day as normal, drinking coffee and heading to school, and never make it back.

the thought of the killer lining up his victims and shooting them one by one. imagine being in that line. imagine hearing the shots, the last gasps, the falling of bodies to the ground. shit. shit, no one, no freaking one, should ever have to go through that.

i don't know how anyone can justify an act like this. i honestly don't know.

there has been a string of school shootings lately, and it is scary. i remember watching the video footage of columbine's shooting, seeing the gun fire, hearing the cries, and no matter how detached you try to be, those kids and teachers were killed. they're dead. the last thing they probably ever saw was a gun pointed to them.

wah shit. it's just wrong. stuff like this should not have to happen. the world is fecked up as it is. we don't need kids being killed in school, someplace you trust to be safe at.

we don't need kids being killed anywhere.

it's just wrong. all this is wrong. it's just so wrong.

32 people are dead because a guy decided to open fire on a bunch of seemingly random people. my mom will probably say that if it's your time, it's your time.

but i can't help think that these kids' lives were stolen from them. like the carpet being pulled from under your feet.

spare a thought and spare a prayer for the victims of virginia tech. they need all they can get right now.

2007-04-16T20:00:00.000+08:00

pieces of the people we love

i got my the rapture cd today. happy me. good songs. dancable, to quote a certain someone.

anyway, i have to say

IT IS DAMN GOOD TO BE BACK IN SCHOOL

yeah. i'm a happy girl. not for long, i know, but as far as i can see, i'm happy.

do i want chocolate?

(sorry, that was a bit random)

drama & poetry all fun. it's a little too early but i like the timing cause then i'll have the rest of the day free. lectures begin tmr (horror) and it's a 9am thing.

oh yeah. i finally caught mika's grace kelly music video and i like him. he reminds me of willy wonka. so fun and free-spirited and woohoo. i like the party part at the back. it'd be nice to throw a party like that. so fun and free and woohoo. there were old people dancing, and all. not that i want old people at my party. i just like the whole concept of not being inhabited and just letting loose and shaking like you mean it. and yelling along to grace kelly.

and the rapture.

you know what, i have decided i could use a chocolate boost. who cares about getting fat and dying young? i don't smoke, i don't drink. i deserve chocolate. and besides, she's here.

2007-04-14T22:56:00.000+08:00

jack's mannequin

andrew mcmahon from JM is awesome stuff. in fact, jack's an awesome band.

today was the day sabrina and her friends when out and did a little charity work. it was rather tiring and slightly rewarding, but karma, you better have taken note of that.

er.

well, yeah. shoping was good.

okay, i have nothing to say.

listen to JM, though.

last weekend before school starts. holler.

2007-04-13T11:46:00.000+08:00

hello.

er.

induction this morning was okay. interesting batch. i was going to yell, "prepare for 3am bedtimes!!!" but i decided to behave and laugh at the videos like everyone else.

lunch with the gang in a bit. i'm too tired to go really, but i think they kinda pushed it to today cause i couldn't make it yesterday so i have to go. and besides i can't put it off cause school's in a couple of days.

i knew i should have slept earlier, instead of staying up to watch the hilariously scary and funny joy ride.

mark wahlberg is hot stuff.

uh huh.

i think i can squeeze in a ten min nap before i have to change and go.

coffee, coffee, where art thou?

oh yeah! i came up with a brilliant diet - coffee, smoothies and cigarettes.

although i think that'd shorten my life by, hmm, let's see, half.

2007-04-11T22:55:00.000+08:00

into the dark

last day of work was today. it was bittersweet.

playing supervisor, being threatened by a knife to stay, doughnuts, watermellon strawberries, free ice cream, happy hellos and sad goodbyes, no more squashing in the kitchen to eat, no more menu promotions and no more standing in the rain to get the tables and chairs dry.

sad cause i've kinda gotten used to the work there, and the people there are now like friends. most, anyway.

well, oh well. i can always go down and visit. no more free ice cream but at least i still get the view of the sea.

school's in less than a week.

2007-04-08T00:05:00.000+08:00

salvation is here

knee deep into 'in three weeks' now. shaping up. shaping up fine. i am intent on seeing this to the end, although, as far as i can see, i have no end in plan just yet. well, i have many ends in plan so all i have to do is choose one.

damn uv ink stamps thingamajids.

and i need next week's schedule.

have i mentioned how great the book fair was? while the parents were spending at the john little sale, i was busy fingering spines and spines of delicious books. and boy did i get a cool selection. less than 30 hours, and i have two books down. two out of seven. i love book fairs. it's been too long since i last went.

too long. those were the fine ol' days, eh?

hot damn, i don't have my planned $50.

there's always the cd to look forward too.

and i FINALLY caught the full version of little miss sunshine. i've got it in bob if anyone wants a piece of the action.

nothing feels better than coming home, kicking my shoes off, washing up and preparing for a good read in bed.

pa said maybe we can go play golf tomorrow! :D

2007-04-06T14:44:00.000+08:00

another 'a & a' instalment on part II

2007-04-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

like a rising tide of emotions

i've been working on 'in three weeks' for hours now, but it's only 12 pages in. damn. i think it's okay so far but that's just me.

planet earth was overwhelming.

someone should knock me on my head.

no better time for ice cream by the sea than at 4am in the morning.

useless redundant entry. god knows why i'm here.

i'll buy shoes tmr and cake and ice cream and feel better then. i am so superficial.

2007-04-04T13:06:00.000+08:00

i say don't you know

nenek's in the plane, high above the oceans, drinking orange juice and eating pie, or something. her cousin just called and she told me not to open the door to strangers :D

i need to make lunch. and drink water. water is good. smoking's not.

oh yeah! and my mandarin's getting better okay. i can now have a conversation:

me: ni ai bu ai wo?
someone else: wo bu ai ni.
me: wo hen shang xin.
someone else: ni bu dui bu qi.

lol.

okay fine, so that's not a proper or logical conversation. but that's the best i can do without refering to my notes.

ANNNDDDD, i can sing a mandarin song. wahahaha!

lunch time.

[edit]

I KNEW WATCHING ENTOURAGE HAD ITS ADVANTAGES!

and i knew drama was good for something besides food.

*shakes butt at you.

[/edit]

2007-04-02T23:35:00.000+08:00

i lose it all inside

i like famous amos cookies and i like jellybeans and i'm in dire need of vanilla milk tea and mango cake.

i bought the family size cadbury chocolate for the family to share but alas, i ate half of it while in front of the tv tonight. now i feel sick. i need to drink more water. 1.5l is not enough.

littlepoppies.livejournal.com

poppy; flowers of sleep and death, and yet they're so, so pretty. okay, okay, i'll blog about poppies there.

er,

there's not much planned for tmr. i thought of sleeping in till 2 but my mom started going on and on about how it's unhealthy to wake up after the sun (a concept i will never understand or follow) so i think i'll rise early. or as early as my body permits.

and since my grandma is travelling to umrah two days from now, i thought maybe i could drop by her place and stuff. and maybe buy cake first so i can have cake with her. ooh, cake. i love cake.

i dreamt i was smoking weed. and nana was the one who was providing me with the weed. hilarious.

i swear the baby oil is AMAZING for your hair.

2007-04-01T00:45:00.000+08:00

epitome

reel arts thingy was okay. lounge lizards were there. they're good. very good. easy listening and very relaxed. i can picture them playing at a beach function, under the stars, all that. oh by the way, they're a jazz band, with a hint of blues. very new orleans. good music. i may engage them for something or another.

i know it's not christmas but i saw clay aiken sing mary, did you know? and the song was moving. you kinda gotta listen to the lyrics, and then you go, "oh god, yeah...". being muslim, i can only relate to the first half of the song, but it's still a great song and i like it.

remember the time i cried when i saw aiken sing i will carry you acoustic version on oprah. damn that was sad.

well, i've spent an hour between typing the above out and typing this out looking for the video but i can't find it. i did find the 'fued' between aiken and kelly ripa, which is rather interesting.

i have a new storyline in the wings (while i blatantly ignore the other five i started on), so i think i'll work on that a while before going to sleep.

happy april's first!

2007-03-30T23:27:00.000+08:00

wash away the stains

I AM A HAPPY GIRL.

well, the day started off horrendously enough when i accidentally put my dad's brand new passport in the wash. i had to hair-dry every individual page and straighten it out with weights and stuff. but my dad wasn't too mad. i think he was just glad i had enough balls to call him and say, "hi pa, i kinda have bad news..."

anyway, after the panic subsided and life returned to normal-ish ways, nana and i met mama for sushi dinner. oh, we also dropped by the work place to say hello to charmaine. and we got to catch lonsdale's fashion show.

now here's the best part,

we then went for retail therapy, and after popping into aldo, c&k, tangs (which was surprisingly empty on a friday evening) and marks & sparks, i got myself heaven-sent robes from liz claiborne. i swear it is the most comfortable piece of garment i have. it feels like being hugged by angel's wings. if not for my mom making me wash it, i'd still probably be in it now.

but that's not all!

i also got myself a gap cotton hoodie top in pink. it is the prettiest thing ever, and i think it makes me look taller (which is a good thing considering the fact that i think i'm shrinking).

all before the pay came in. darn.

my mommy and sister also got a couple of stuff of their own.

so yes, all in all, it turned out to be a good enough day. and the icing on the cake was getting my blood donation card!

:D

nana's reel arts tomorrow and i'm going without my plus one, who decided moments ago that she'd rather stay home. so i'm going ala minus one. i'll beg ma to come. but at least i'll have bob.

oh! i also got johnson & johnson's baby oil which is a great make-up remover and hair conditioner. great buys today, folks, great buys.

2007-03-30T11:15:00.000+08:00

i think i'm scared

there's a mountain load of laundry (literally. how do four people wear so much clothes in 2 days?!) in the kitchen waiting for me to sort out and wash. there's a pile of papers i need faxed and i have no idea how to work the machine. there's no lunch for me cause i ate it last night at 1am when i decided i was hungry after all. and i realised march has 31 days, so that means no pay till tmr.

yet all i want to do is go back to bed and curl up and watch the clouds roll by.

;

8am coffee
my mug by the chair
the only thing i left behind
when i decided i no longer care.

2007-03-29T21:29:00.000+08:00

cute waiters, good coffee and long bus rides

hello hello.

i worked my first morning shift today. 10 to 6. eight hours that went by remarkably fast. minus the carrying tables in the rain, the melting, leaking ice cream and the falling spoon. and the deja vu couple, which was rather funny.

anyway, after work, which was almost fun, i met up with shafik and rae for after work drinks. i had a yummy, yummy, love in my tummy hazelnut cuppa. hazelnut coffee makes me smile. but not starbuck's one. i don't know why. weird. but anyway, nydc makes delish elephacinnos (however you spell it), and other stuff too.

so, tomorrow will be laundry and shopping day.

and i still have a tummy ache.

27 days baby.

i'm rambling.

2007-03-28T14:38:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU COOCOO CLOCK

2007-03-26T09:55:00.000+08:00

BLOODY FECKS

the girl who went around reminding people about IS enrolment promptly forgot to set the alarm. and wake up.

so she fecking missed it.

wah. great. i'll just repair aircons in my free time then.

forget it, i have errands to run. i better not forget tonight.

i'm bloody stupid i swear.

[edit]

i made it for the 10pm one. i have hereby enrolled myself in drama and literary. charming, i know.

today was fun. met nitha and danny for lunch then i went off to bugis and arab street area. kinda took the day slow, stopped to smell the roses, ate jellybeans and ice cream and shopped. good day.

[/edit]

[edit2]

wah feck, i just read something i wrote. it was a poem. i think i had the last verse published here or something. but i read it and it kinda hit me and now the only thing in my head is 'wah feck'.

i love the word 'feck'; fuck in a polite context. hilarious.

anyway,
bloody hell. i think the poem's more powerful now then when i wrote it.

and the sad part is that it's true isn't it, sabby?

the truth always stings.

yeah, i fell. i fell hard. but the only reason i was running towards it in the first place was because i knew i didn't want it, couldn't have it. and mostly because i knew it was a race; that there were other people who wanted it as well.

i wanted something just because someone else did too.

i'm a selfish, egoistic, and blind bitch.

wah feck.

i disgust myself sometimes.

lesson learnt: don't bother joining the race - it ain't worth it.

if i ever were to love someone, it'd be for the right reasons.

[/edit2]

2007-03-26T01:38:00.000+08:00

NEW ARTISTE ALERT

i have stumbled on yet another brilliant singer online.

introducing JAKE COCO.

i'm telling you, he is the real thing.

jakecoco.com

you have to have a listen to his stuff. i heard artist and fell in love with his voice. and from the snippets i've heard, graceland and give u the moon sound promising too.

he's not the skinny, drop-dead handsome kinda guy. he looks like you boyfriend's friend that sings by the fire at beach parties.

okay, remember how i said listening to that song by oliver james wanted to make me fall in love? jake coco's about five times better. he has a soothing quality about his voice. he sounds honest, true and sings like he means every word he says.

for me, it's the kinda voice that makes me stop and want to listen to everything he's ever sang.

oh, and the sincerity of his songs.

he has no frills attached to him. he knows he doesn't have to sell sex or looks or anything like that.

you just want to have him over by the ocean singing to you.

damn, i love this guy.

i'm telling you,
he is the real thing right here.

you're not doing yourself a favour if you don't at least give him one listen.

i know this isn't a very detailed review,
but me actually bothering to do one after listening to only one song (a million times over), has got to say something.

i swear, if this guy doesn't make it big one day,
i don't know what went wrong in the cosmic universe.

jake coco's a rare gem among the dirt that's called music these days.

2007-03-25T16:10:00.000+08:00

ONE MONTH TO GO

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHAFINAZ,
the bestest seatmate i've ever had,
and a brilliant kawan.

and since today is shaf's birthday,
it could only mean one thing.

THAT IT'S A MONTH TO MINE! :D

18 in a month.
how exciting.

omg 18.

wahahahaha.

i want my zouk-out party please!
charmaine would know what i'm talking about.

i also want ->

skinnies
doherty perkin's black cardi
a&f's tops
bag/purse
heels
more shoes
my hair re-coloured
my 4 gigolos!
ipod
a sharper nose
flat avitor shades
more shades please
handphone purse cause tomaytoe needs clothes and protection
chucks of every colour and style. heh
more tops and jeans and skirts
candy empire's jellybeans!
my morrocan room
jack's mannequin perfoming at my party
secret recipe's chocolate and banana cake!
my driver's licence
my rx350 or toyota harrier

that's about it for the time being.

anyway,
i found a crack/sratch/chip on tomaytoe.
my heart broke!
it's on the corner.

so i found red star stickers
and covered it and i think it looks quite good.

but i still need to find tomaytoe clothes.
to cushion falls.

ONE MONTH.

shake it!

2007-03-24T23:51:00.000+08:00

WAFFLES BY THE SEA, COFFEE ON THE SWINGS

so,
from what i have gathered,
204 seems to shaping up to be a good enough class.

i need to call nitha and see where she landed,
and who she's with.

and the rest of the class too really.

and where shafik is.
and mona.
and the rest of them.

oh wait, i think mok has complied a list somewhere.

okay, it's somewhere.
i remember reading it.

anyway, from what i saw,
it was a pretty fair division.

so,
i am in a better mood.
thanks to chocolates, marian keyes and tv.

i am so shallow.

ooh, ohh,
must call for work schedule tmr.
and remember IS enrolment on monday folks!

i was going to say something.
but as usual, i forgot.

to my beloved friends,
we NEED to spend a day together,
having waffles by the sea and coffee on the swings.

or just spend the afternoon away with good food, drinks and lovely company.

204.
charming.

2007-03-24T00:20:00.000+08:00

woke up and the first thing i saw was an email from a client telling me my dateline was yesterday. duh i got into panic mode, made calls, sent out emails. panicked and panicked, feeling pissed that i didn't know.

then i found out an hour ago it was a joke.

*insert vulgarity here*

do not screw with my head. in a course where datelines are your lifelines, do not joke about datelines.

do not.

when i found out, i wanted to kill someone. i actually teared up with anger.

add that to the already painfully hard day at work (10 bloddy hours saying 'hi, would you like to dine in or takeaway'), with co-workers who apparently cannot differentiate plates with food and plates that can be cleared away, and are somehow missing the logic that when people eat ice cream, they need water. so bloody well refill their glasses.

at least we got a banana split. and our daddies got coffee. and we have our adorable asst. manager to cheer us up.

class postings are out.

i have good people. i love the t110 people that moved to t204. i am grateful.

but i'm willing to make this next year a better one.

3.5 and beyond.

entourage has finsihed downloading. i need my dose of E. E makes me feel better always.

2007-03-22T00:05:00.000+08:00

I HOPE SOMEDAY YOU'LL FIND IT IN YOUR HEART

do you love him?

yes.

then you know what you have to do.

it's hard.

i know, baby, i know.

but i have to.

you'll pull through. you're stronger than you think.

okay. okay, then.

2007-03-21T20:49:00.000+08:00

I REMEMBER WAITING FOR YOU TO CALL

we tried. it rained, they came late, but we tried. and i think, all things considered,

we pulled it off.

and it was worth it.

i hopped on a random bus at vivo again today, knowing it'd take me to clementi, but not exactly knowing to which part. i ended up at the train station, so i got myself a drink and took the long way home, on foot.

walking is good. walking clears my head...

once i could ignore the fact that my feet hurt, my knees were locking and that i was gagging cause i wanted to puke. but puking at the side of the road is so unglam.

and despite all that, i didn't want to stop walking.

finally had dinner at home today, though everyone kinda just sat there and stoned. nana's now in the next room trying to transform into a bimbo. she's already half-way there anyway.

she also got me hooked on the ataris' the saddest song. i can't relate to it, but i think it's nice.

i remember waiting there, to find nothing at all.

i feel like my head was flushed down the toilet. not good, not good.

change song. er. jack's mannequin's bruised?

oh of course. i need my dose of spencerlane.

to all who came, lied, tied balloons to trees and wrote 'happy bday' in the sand,

THANK YOU.

thank you so much.

i'll be in bed if you need me.

i think my off my axis cause i haven't drank my 1.5l. pass the bottle.

2007-03-21T00:12:00.000+08:00

JUST GOTTA SAY IT ALL BEFORE I GO

i think it's about time i blogged about work. if there's a way to describe it fully from my point of view, it'd be that it is getting more and more bearable. i mean, i have to just suck it up; not that i can do anything short of quitting. anyway, although the pay is SMALL, i think i'm getting the hang of things. the staff are okay, and the customers are mostly nice and despite the long hours and late nights, i think i'm getting used to it.

i still don't like it.

i'm just getting used to it.

it's about to rain here. i hope it won't rain tmr.

i have nothing to wear tmr.

oh yeah, hello mona and sy. thank you for coming down, and we are going to use the money to buy food!

and to NITHA. see i blog about you okay. HELLO NITHA I MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU AND I HOPE TO SEE YOU TMR.

er.

i'm tired and i have to find paper, and clothes to wear tmr.

i lost my desire to write.

but i will say that if that was meant to make me feel something, it didn't. i would love to have a whole post on this, but i won't. mainly cause, i don't know, it doesn't feel right.

but anyway,

imissyou,keboy. i think. it just came out. weird. i think it's cause i saw this guy today that reminded me a whole lot of you and it was kinda freaky.

but if i had to miss one person, itd be my sister. i haven't see her in days.

HELLO NANA. WHERE DID ALL THE SUNSHINE GO?

2007-03-18T20:39:00.000+08:00

BLUE BALLOONS

1. My dad took me out to town today to do some shopping. We had the usual ice cream.

2. My tail bone is acting up again and I am getting worried. But I read somewhere it can take up to a year to heal. Pass them painkillers.

3. I have already packed for work. Weird as it is, I want to go to work tomorrow and Tuesday. I just want to get over and done with it.

4. I can't lean in or back cause then the pain gets worse. Damn.

5. I need a new top for Wednesday's lunch. Which means I have to find time to go shop. Which is impossible. And also, I blew all my money on today's trip.

6. Chocolate. I need more chocolate.

7. Mandarin classes here we come. 'We' being the whole family. Charming.

And I suppose it is only fair that the picture was taken down. But life moves on. It always moves on, even if we're not ready for it to.

I miss school by the way. I miss school. (I know I'll be begging to differ in about a month and a half, but we're not there yet)

8. Je t'aime.

2007-03-17T22:49:00.000+08:00

MANNEQUIN

(by now, you ought to realise that the titles of my entries usually do not have any relation to the post itself. most of the time, its the line that is being played on itunes, or something that means the world to me but nothing to you.)

I just got next week's schedule. Can't say I'm too happy about it. I'm also disappointed Ikea didn't call me back. But I need the job, and I need the money. University education isn't cheap as pie. And besides, this girl's gotta spend some dough.

I kinda like Oliver James' voice. Does he write his own songs? It would be a major turn on if he did. Oh, he just sang, 'The world is waiting just outside your door; what are you waiting for?' Darn, that makes sense. I need to source for lyrics. There's something about his voice that I absolutely love. That raspy-boy-next-door sincerity thing. Damn, I think he's voice is hot. And it has nothing to do with his looks. Frankly, as good-looking as Oliver is, he is not really my kinda guy. And besides, he looks like an old friend. But awesome voice, great songs and charming eyes. What else could I ask for. Oh good, my friend Wikipedia just told me that he does write his own songs.

AND, check out the song 'Greatest Story Ever Told'. IT FREAKING MAKES ME WANT TO FALL IN LOVE. Okay, I'm just being a girl here.

Anyway, on to more less-heartbreakingly depressing stories.

How do I believe in something I don't? It's like doing a speech on a topic you completely have no heart for. I cannot quit. I've done enough quitting that would shame the best of quitters. Okay, the money here is good. The stress level isn't. And no, I'm not talking about Haagen.

Sometimes, it's easy to (omg, at this point I have to point to out that Oliver James' rendition of 'The Distance' make me want to cry. Okay, back to the focus of conversation. (I think i'll be having this boy on replay for some time.)

AS I WAS SAYING,
Sometimes it's easy to forget. Forget the hope, the faith, the love. But mainly, forget what we really were for. I find myself finding it easy to forget the faith. Which is rather scary. I'm the kinda person who needs soemthing to hold on to. It's like being a helium-inflated balloon. I fly off too easily. I need one of them cute weights I saw today.

Forgeting. Ah, forgetting is always easy. Too easy.

I was at the bus stop yesterday to go Ikea right. When I got to the bus stop (after a long, long, long walk), there was a boy there, no more than 12 years of age. Anyway, there he was seating there, looking all grumpy and frumpy (I won't blame him. It was humid beyond humid that day) and stoning there. (I want to dance to 'A Long Time Coming' at my wedding).

So then, he was all alone, and grumpy and frumpy looking right. And I think to myself, "Kids get angry too young these days". Then a car pulls up and it is FILLED with people. Boy sees the car and stood up, and as he was walking towards the car, HE BREAKS OUT INTO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SMILE. It just completely lit up his face. It was a beautiful smile. And everyone in the car is smilling at him, and laughing. EVERYONE INSIDE. And before he opens the front passenger door, he was making faces at the people inside and it was just such a beautiful scene. It was like they were in a little bubble of love and family and all that. And I was lucky enough to be there to see it.

That made me believe again. The boy and his family have probably forgotten about the bus stop and what happened there. But I remember. And I have a feeling I'll be remembering it for a long time to come. It made me remember that there are pockets of humanity that are stil able to love.

In a world that's at war on so many levels, at a stage in my life where I'm a little lost at times, and confused most of it, on a planet that is rapidly being destroyed, and in a society that is so distorted and crazy, it was great to see something to make me believe again.

Yeah.

Can I hurry up find a The One so I can have my wedding and dance to 'Long Time Coming'?

Okay, I am off to watch Prison Break.

2007-03-16T12:38:00.000+08:00

RIDING DOWN THE HIGHWAY

hi. it's 20 to 1pm. today was all right. woke up really (albeit very reluctantly) and went to school. it felt good being back. a bit strange cause it was so empty. but it was good to be back. the buildings, the grass, the posters (HAHA! i swear i'm over that!) and all that.

anyway, up the hill i went and up the fms building. met up with ms tan. we sat down and had a good conversation.

ms tan: (watching me sort through the piles of paper) are you the class rep or something?
me: no la. i'm seeing some of them for lunch next week so i thought i'd help them collect.
ms tan: they should buy you lunch. (hint hint HINT!) come all the way down for them.
me: it's okay actually. i kinda live down the road.
ms tan: ah, i see.

she's actually a very nice person. her lectures may have been a tad confusing and long and sometimes boring, especially when it was confusing, but she's a nice person. i'll miss her a little.

anyway, i got my gender journal back and WOOHOO! i love my journal. i think it was what pulled my grade up for social pyschology. YAY FOR BEING FEMALE.

then i walked around school for the kick of it. went to the library and got some grape red tea for old times sake. borrowed a book. and left.

oh, and i dropped by the CC to check out their mandarin classes. i think i'll enroll. it'd be good. a third language under my belt. and hopefully a fourth next sem.

anyway, it's now 15 to 1, and i'm meeting char at ikea at 3. i miss that girl already.

and i miss my sister who is at some silly camp in school.

and, and, and, my itunes nicely deleted some of my songs when i was updating the software. thanks ah. now must get them songs back.

--- optional reading ahead.

i think i'm sick. it may be phantom but i don't know. my mommy won't listen to me cause she's been telling me to go to the doctors but i don't want too.

me: ma, i feel sick.
mommy: i told you to go to the doctor's.
me: but i don't want.
mommy: then don't talk to me about it.

i woke up today with an itchy throat and the start of what i believe to be a running nose. and i feel ill. fineeee, i'll go to the doctor's. soon. earliest monday. i just hate going to the doctors.

i remember, when i was way younger, i kept taking panadols. every other day. for every little reason. then my dad said i should stop. cause i was too young to be dependant on pills.

for some reason, since then, i've hated being dependent on pills. i mean, i take the occasional panadol, asprin, pain killer, sleeping pill, but that's about it. i hate thinking i have drugs coursing through my veins. and yet i carry around pain killers.

anyway, i miss my friends an awful lot. shafik was saying something to me yesterday that made me think. and feel sadder than i already was (is there such a word as 'sadder'? hell). anyway, i can't remember what it was, but it was something like how if we're not in the same class next month, and if he saw me in the other end of the library that he won't say hi cause i'll be happy with my new classmates and eating jellybenas with them (haha) and he'll be there without jellybeans.

but what if i'm the one who is upset and lonely. well, i'll always have my jellybeans (they never fail to make me feel better. my own personal drug) but yeah. again, there's that fear. like at the start of the last shool year. that silly but real and nagging fear that no one would be my friend.

am i insecure? i know i get paranoid at times. yeah, maybe i do have my insecurities. hell, everyone does. i'll just super miss the class and everyone. most of them are more than classmates and friends.

it's too early in the day to feel like this. i have to work till 1am today. HELL THAT'S 12 HOURS FROM NOW. i feel exhausted already.

to those who actually read word after word of this entry, thanks. i think. i admire your patience (and to a certain degree your kehpoh-ness). but it's okay. it is a public blog after all.

what the hell am i saying?

anyway, here's a little read for you.

There was a time,
When I thought you were the one for me
But those same million memories, thousand touches and hundred glances
Made me realised I was wrong.

Made me see that all I truly wanted
Was something I shouldn't have
Because the only reason I wanted you
Was because someone else wanted you too.

it's completely random and nonsensical. but it made some sense to me when i wrote it.

ooh, the maid just left. okay, now i can roll about and sing out loud.

i'm a long way away from 3.5. but next year is a new year. mig and i can do it. i'll camp in the library if that's what it takes. in fact, i should start studying now (okay, who am i kidding). but 3.5 it is. 3.5 and beyond. nothing less. 3.5 and beyond and princeton. then i'll gladly do that ngee ann dance and eat mudpie with my fellow 3.5 cool geek-er.

2007-03-15T21:30:00.000+08:00

CAUSE I NEED SOMETHING TO FIGHT FOR

i was in the bus that day (the regular one, not my cool p.rosie) one, and as i was sitting there, staring out the window, it hit me, this sudden need to have someone to fight for.

to laugh about, cry about and sing about.

weird.

if you were expecting the black skin, and sandy font, and was harshly greeted by this,

my apologies.

i am re-evaluating my life.

hence, i needed a clean, white space to think.

but yes, i'm trying to take a step back to reprioritise.

yeah.

someone to fight for.

i don't even know what that means. it's just something that hit me. hard.

i need to find myself.

2007-03-14T12:18:00.000+08:00

VANILLA

i don't usually blog in the middle of the day (it's noon). in fact, i'm usually not 100% awake at this hour, but here i am.

i had to wake up at 7 this morning for an 8am meeting. i know. it's crazy. but i survived the meeting (with that hilarious moment at the end that had me holding my phone at arm's length as i read my results).

results. i passed. for that i'm grateful. three hours to the progress report. when will class postings be out though?

so, anyway, then i went down to the driving centre and then i was going to go back to the train station. so i went to the bus stop to wait for the bus. then this really old bus came. like a rosa parks bus. i bloody well knew that that bus won't take me to the station. but hell, like i cared. so i hopped on and relished in the vintage-ness and old school-ness of the bus, then hopped off at the next stop. fun. :D i am making a habit of getting on random buses and seeing where they'd take me. needless to say, i got lost a couple times.

but it's fun. try it. hop on the next bus that strikes your fancy.

I WATCHED THE HISTORY BOYS YESTERDAY. great show. i shall start going to all these british films alone. such a great experience.

okay, battery life running low. i'll be back online at 3. and again at night. if i don't run off and hop on yet another random bus.

2007-03-11T22:03:00.000+08:00

PROVE THAT THE WAY BROTHERS ARE THE ONES BEHIND GLOBAL WARMING

It's all scenes from their lastest video I don't love you, which I, again, think is a nice song.

2007-03-11T01:15:00.000+08:00

BABY, GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN

hello all. yes, the update on work is finally here. but a quick one. oh, i see i'm back to small caps. well, that only means one thing. but that's later. work.

it's nice, no, it's absolutely great to have char there cause at least i have a friend. no one else work seems sociable enough to socialise with; but i suppose that's cause we were all rather busy. who knew singaporeans had a thing to eat ice cream at 10.30pm? exactly. i never thought i'd see the place full.

so yeah, it was a little tiring. my legs kinda hurt after (darn you flat feet). and my arm was still sore from the jab. but no broken plates and glasses and no order mix ups. and hopefully, no mystery shopper. gee, the mystery shopper sure gets everyone worked up.

on to better news. my sales pitch came through. hooray me. i'm kinda happy. adds to the resume and portfolio and all that. but on the other hand, it is a little overwhelming. i mean, this isn't some small fry company i'm dealing with.

one of my colleagues is saving up for university education. she is holding down three freaking jobs. and she's planning on a local university. what about me, miss i-don't-want-to-go-to-a-local-uni? i have already made the 'new jersey, here i come' plan. i know it costs a fortune. i know that unless im smarter than the smartest in singapore that only can i get that scholarship. and i know it's a one in a hundred, possibly thousand, chance that i'd find a company to sponsor and bond me. or if the university will accept me.

but i really don't want a local uni, as grand and established and recognised as they are. i really want to go overseas and see what's it like there. the whole study abroad experience. i guess i better start saving.

i guess i better put the money i saved for my car into money i have to use to go to university.

but i know that worse comes to worse, it's a local university. and hey, nus is down the corner.

like i'll make it in.

i better pass mass comm.

this whole princeton university, as crazy and unrealistic and foolish as it is, is going into my '3.5 and beyond' goal. even if the other member of the cute and cool '3.5 and beyond' doesn't believe half in this as i do, i do. i need a goal and i am in dire need to have something to work for.

let this girl dream.

now, i usually don't feel much for music videos. well, except for wake me up when september ends, ghost of you and all about loving you. but i saw my chemical romance's i don't love you mtv today and i fell in love with it. it may be gerard way and his facial expressions (which i think are good and funny and hilarious but all in a good way), and the black and white and all.

but it's a song i absolutely love (it's on single repeat for days now) and somehow, the music video makes me feel something (i'm not sure what).

AND GERARD WAY LOOKS TOO HOT. he lost weight, he has the nicest hairstyle in years (remember the i'm not okay days?) and he looks like his brother, who i think is hot too. SUNSHINE ALL AROUND.

so anyway, i'm working on something and here's a sneak peek.

:D

oh, and the whole 'cute guy in the train' thing. little things that make my day.

2007-03-08T22:41:00.000+08:00

TO INFINITY AND BEYOND

YAY US, we got jobs! I have an income now (oh snap, that means I have to pay for my own mobile phone bills.). But we have jobs!

And Char, we get the day beds and the sea view! Oh man, it's so cool.

The pitch today was all right. I think. I hope. It felt like Speech Comm. I was kinda nervous, so I imagined it was my P.Rosie speech with Shafik. Hah.

Anyway, gotta run. I am sleepy.

My ideal boyfriend loves sex. And we know my stand on that. HAHA.

<3!

2007-03-05T23:26:00.000+08:00

LIFE IS A SONG AND I DON'T WANT TO BE AFRAID TO SING ALONG

http://www.songmeanings.net/lyric.php?lid=3530822107858566670
Please check out the song above. It's called LIFE IS A SONG by Patrick Park.

It was the last song on the last episode of The OC. Yes, I have managed to finish the whole season in three days - albeit a few missing and broken links. The OC has always had a great soundtrack and all their songs have been an amazing part of plot develoment and character exploration and all that. Their songs have just always been able to bring everything out more.

So anyway, this was, I think, the most perfect song to end the series. Especially with the flashbacks and the future peeks and all. Almost tear-jerking. It was tear-jerking enough without the song but yeah.

So, I heard this song and a couple of lines stood out to me. Okay, fine, whole paragraphs jumped out at me.

There's no telling where we'll be in a day or in a week
And there's no promises of peace or of happiness

Well is this why you cling to every little thing
And polverize and derrange all your senses
Maybe life is a song but you're scared to song along
Until the very ending

You're chained to your history, you're surely sinking fast
You say that you know that the good Lord's in control
He's gonna bless and keep your tired and oh so restless soul

And won't you tell me why you live like you're afraid to die
You'll die like you're afraid to go

Well life is a dream 'cause we're all walking in our sleep
You could see us stand in lines like we're dead upon our feet
And we build our house of cards and then we wait for it to fall
Always forget how strange it is just to be alive at all

A few days back, I was honestly wondering who I was. Sure, I know my name and my IC number. And I know I want to one day get married, have children and make breakfast for them. Nothing makes me happier than feeding people, especially my future family members. And I want to see my kids off to school and be there when I come back. I want to be my own boss and make my own money, and spend Sunday mornings watching the sunrise from the balcony with my husband's arms around me. I want my kid to say "Mommy look what I drew!" and show me a horrendously ugly self-drawn picture of the family as stick figures, like I once did to my Ma.

I know I want all that.

But I'm just not sure who I want to be. I know I'm not going to get an answer overnight - that people take years to really find themselves. I think I'm just going through that period where I just want to find myself. Be at peace with myself.

Like I said before, or rather, like a wise hippie once said, before two halves can be whole, each half has to be its own whole first.

I think that's why I could never hold down a relationship, or figure one out. Cause I was never fully whole. I never really knew who I was, and hence, I didn't know who I needed, or wanted to be with. Who would have known that was my reason. I'll tell Nana all this when she wakes up in the morning. I bet she'll just roll her eyes and say something sacarstic. But I'm telling her nonetheless.

I don't want to be walking in my sleep. I don't want life to just be a dream because I was holding back and was too afraid to live it. Hell, I'm turning 18 in about a month. I should at least have an inkling of who I am by the time I turn 18. I am not waiting for an epiphany or a white light and a voice. I'm waiting for me.

A friend once told me that there was a great girl hiding inside of me. I never quite believed her. And a part of me still doesn't. I don't think there's anyone great inside. It's just a girl who sometimes gets confused and scared and lost. Trust me, she wants to come out. I think she's just waiting for the right time or something.

And I do not want to die regretting life. I do not want to be at the gates of Heaven thinking, "No, no, I'm not ready." I want to walk through those gates saying, "Yeah, I've done it all. Now, it's time to play with the angels."

Yeah, I want it to be that way.

I wish Scott was here. He would have said something completely profound and made me feel like more of a lost goon, but at the same time, like I was maybe headed towards the right direction. One reason I love my conversations with Scott is because I think he has found himself. Either that or he is just super comfortable with the way he is. Fine, there is the anonymity of being online, but still. And he is deep. Say something completely simple to him, like "Dang, my umbrella is broken", and he'll come back with something so unrelated but related, and deep and complex that it makes you stop and think. Someone that deep would definitely have some kind of hold on life and on who he is.

Scott, if you are reading this, do not get big-headed. And ants are still coming out of my iron, in case you were wondering.

(I'm sure he's somewhere being completely passionate with a lucky jellybean).

And thank you to Mehul for listening to my rants.

I'll find myself one day. I'll know who I am, and I'll find someone completly perfect for me. And I'll live my life. And when I die, I'll die happy.

I'm not one of those people who want to be remembered, who want people talking about them years and years after their deaths. No need for all that. I just want people, preferably my decendants (it will be so freaky if random people did this), when they come across one of my many pictures that I'll be sure to leave behind, to say, "Oh, this is your grandmother Sabrina. She lived her life. She lived it well."

My faith and hope in life has been restored.

2007-03-05T21:23:00.000+08:00

THE OWLS CRIED FOR HER

While waiting for my OC episode to load, I thought maybe I'd drop by here and rant a little.

For two halves to be whole, each half has to be whole on its own first.

Now, that made me think. I know it doesn't really make sense, nothing Che says really does, but he is so adorable you can't help loving him, but I think it's true. You have to find and know and love yourself before you can someone else, right. Ah. It's always these kinda things that make you go, "ah...".

The family lunch to celebrate the parents' anniversary was good. I couldn't finish my rice cause the servings were huge, but Udin and Wafi did. Well, only goes to show that they have good appetites. I love that restaurant for three reasons:

1) Food is delicious and affordable.
2) Comfortable setting. Cosy, even.
3) Do not get me started on how hot the waiters there are. It's like eating and sight-seeing. Great perk.

Still loading. At this rate, I'm going to miss Desperate Housewives. Oh wait, there's a pause button. The wonders of Internet TV.

I am so not looking forward to turning 18.

2007-03-03T01:26:00.001+08:00

Oh yeah, and SETH COHEN IS THE ULTIMATE BOYFRIEND.

2007-03-02T23:15:00.000+08:00

DROPLETS OF FUN

It's been one hell of a week. My hormonal cycle is all screwed up so I spend most of my days mood-swinging, eating chocolate, drinking ultra-sweet jasmine green tea (on the note that I am preventing a future of cancer) and doing the laundry. And I find cleaning the kitchen extremely therapeutic. The whole thing about cleaning messes and finally seeing my reflection on the stove works for me, you know?

I am still jobless. I know I was supposed to go back to the toy shop, but I am trying to avoid that at all cost. And I'm not a big shot TV star. Yes, yes, meant for greater things. Right.

Seeing that I'm in this weird mood swing thing, some stuff I say here can hurt, make no sense and just plain be stupid to anyone but me. Now, let's begin.

Number 1. Strawberries and sweetened cream are good. They should be on the food pyramid. Honestly.

Number 2. I've been meaning to get this out but I never really found the time or space or energy. Note that this is a generalized statement, and it does not go out to you, you or you. Well maybe you, but again, that depends on who you is, doesn't it. To play it safe, it's a general statement I've noticed over the year and I want to get out.

People grow up and people change. People who were once close may not be close now cause people grow apart and change. Change, change, change. Interests are now different. Attitudes, perceptions, opinions are different. No one is the same as when they were when they were 5 years ago. So I think, we must be aware of that. Be aware that changes happen.

I personally hate change to hell and back. It's not in me to have huge changes occur and turn my world upside down. Yes, while I would occasionally like to step out and do something completedly out there, on the excuse of needing a breath of fresh air, I would absolutely hate it if I have to move, if my favourite food stall closed down (remember my breakdown when my lovely nasi pattaya shop closed?) or if I had to change my car. Well, I don't have a car, and I am saving up for that RX350, but I would hate it if I had to change cars. Especially if I had to say goodbye to my RX350.

But anyway, the point here is that people change. One of the hardest kind of change to get used to, but it happens.

Number 3. My 18th is coming up. I think that turning 18 is a big deal. So it turning 13, 16 and 21. But 18 is big. I would love to have a big party but, firstly, my parents are not big on the idea. And secondly, I am weirdly still in that 'I don't feel like dancing' mood. It is weird. I usually feel like this for a week or two, then snap out of it, and I'm out with friends and stuff, but I'm still here. Maybe it'd wear off by the 18th birthday, maybe not.

A part of me does not want to party. I want to be alone and say, "Hey, guess what? You did make it this far." And pat myself on the back, then get up and move on. I've learnt that celebrations are really in the smallest of things. I'm not a huge fan of over the top parties, with a million people there who I don't know.

Another part however wants to have that bash. Grab a few people together, food food, music and drinks. Laugh and go, well, here we are. Let's face it, the road to 18 is never easy, and maybe I do deserve that party.

Oh well, either way, what matters is that I celebrate with myself. And God. Gotta thank Him above all to get me this far. He never lost faith in me, even after I did.

Number 4. I'm back hooked on The OC. And with Internet TV, there's no better way to watch it.

Number 5. My mom got me colourful pills. Yiipeee. We all know what they say about colourful things. The more colourful, the more poisonous. Or does that only apply to insects and frogs? Anyway, the stupid pills make me sleepy and I'm still as forgetful as ever so I'm doubting them.

Number 6. I could use a little more green tea now.

2007-02-28T23:45:00.000+08:00

I DON'T LOVE YOU LIKE I LOVED YOU YESTERDAY

It's my parents' wedding anniversary in ten minutes.

So today's hot topic will be on marriage. I caught a little of Idol tonight, and after watching Phil Stacy's performance, I felt like getting married. Do not ask me why cause I have no clue - though the whole PMS without PMS may be a factor. Anyway, I wasn't thinking about the wedding. God, I'm looking forward to my wedding already. But marriage as a concept, you know?

To have someone to come home to, someone to call in the middle of the work afternoon and meet for lunch, someone to fight and bicker with, someone to hold in bed, someone to trust and love, and someone's money to spend. Okay, scrap the last one, not as important, but nice nonetheless.

Someone to just hold and love.

I read somewhere, and darn I can't remember where, that a true testiment of love and marriage is when you're in bed with your partner, lying together, holding each other, and fully clothe and not having sex, and feeling more intimate than ever.

Yeah, that'd be nice, won't it?

I told my mom to go help me find someone cause I wanted to get married and she said, "Go find yourself! 21st century already no more matchmaking. I have better things to do."

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY MA AND PA. I LOVE YOU AND YOU LOVE ME AND YOU LOVE EACH OTHER! <3

Whenever I start feeing that love is non-existent and that I won't ever find that perfect someone, and that love wasn't worth all the hurt and pain and trouble, I look at my parents and I see that love is there. They fight and laugh, they love and hate, and they just remind me that after everything, at the end of the day, they have each other and that makes it all okay.

I'll be lucky if I have half of what they have.

Which is why I wear my daddy's engagement ring and my mom's wedding band (Her older one. I gave them a new, nicer set last year) to remind myself every minute, and especially when I start to falter.

Ma said to enjoy singlehood. And I do, you know? The freedom to date, to drool and to just have no strings attached. I've never been good with commitment. Hell, look at the history of my relationships.

Which is why it gets easy to forget. But sometimes, and when I say sometimes, I mean sometimes, you just want someone to be there and say, 'Hey, it'd be okay, see'.

I'm in a happier mood now. And part of the cool 3.5 gpa geek club.

Anyway, you're invited to my wedding. But I'm only inviting 250 people so be nice to me.

I better start on the anniversary gift. I didn't walk in the rain for nothing. And someone remind me I have that lunch on Sunday with the family. I keep forgeting. Can't let Sham down now can we?

And I miss Udin so it'd be nice to see him and grandma again. Ooh, what to wear, what to wear?

And maybe when you get back,
I'll be off to find another way.
MCR.

2007-02-26T21:43:00.000+08:00

BLACK'S BACK

I dyed my hair back to black. It's been sometime since I've had black hair. Kinda nice to have something old back, you know.

Thanks Nitha for allowing me into the great world of peekvid.

Go catch Little Miss Sunshine. I give it all thumbs up, and as many stars as I can. It's one of those movies that are hard to come by, you know. Kinda got the tear in the eye effect on me. Great, great show. Deserved every Oscar nod it received.

2007-02-25T17:18:00.001+08:00

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR, GET YOUR TEAM OFF THE FLOOR

I figured I owed everyone who tagged and showed concern an update, to say thanks a million and that I got most of the files back.

Thanks especially to Mihu the Lion who is good at getting secret codes.

And if there was one good lesson learnt, it was the 4 steps of loss. Anger, sadness, denial, acceptance. Kinda hilarious when you look at it in retrospect.

And that irony is all around, that SOB.

Job hunt not going to well so I think I need to step it up or end up back at the toy asylum.

Today was all right, I think. It was kinda nice going yesterday and seeing all the familiar faces there. So yeah, good experience, I must say.

That's about it. I think I'm getting the flu cause I feel all sick and feverish and I have a headache and I just woke from a 4 hour nap but I'm still tired. Darn the weather, it's all screwed up.

I love my new ivory rosary!

2007-02-23T00:52:00.000+08:00

48 TEARS

Here's the deal. Ignore the last 'happy' post. That was three hours ago when everything was okay.

That was before I realised that last night, while I was trying to back-up my files,

I DELETED EVERYTHING.

EVERY. SINGLE. THING. EXCEPT. MY. ITUNES. SONGS. ARE. GONE.

Stories, letters, pictures, accounts (this one is killing me the most), school work, everything went byebye.

I've locked myself in the room for the past two and a half hours combing the net for file recovery softwares through tear-stained eyes.

After I ran out of tears to cry, I just sat there numb, sobbing, and my eyes stinging.

Now I'm in denial or something.

Thanks to Rae and Estella for their help and comforting words.

You know what I need?

I need that cafe thing. And maybe cigarettes, drugs and chewing gum.

It's all about the chewing gum. Just ask Nana.

And oh, I really don't need you second-guessing me every freaking step of the way. It's either take it or leave it. And from the way things are working out, we're rapidly heading for the latter. Thanks for adding to the foulness of tonight eh, love.

2007-02-22T21:40:00.000+08:00

SILENT CAPTURES

take me to the place that you go, where nobody knows.

How I wish I could be there now. But where is there? Let's see, where you Sabrina go when she needs to get away. Where do I go when I need to get away? Oh, I know now. Liang Seah.

Fond memories, bad memories, my childhood on that street.

I just really want to go back, sit down in one of them cafes, have a drink and spend that lazy afternoon away, soaking up the old school charm and the spirits of past memories.

Actually, if I had to go somewhere just to get away from it all, it'd be some place full of culture, old school charm, memories and that 'time is frozen for the moment' feel. It'd either be Liang Seah Street or Arab Street. Maybe Holland Village if I'm too lazy to travel.

Anyway, the design work is done so far. I sent it to the friendly neighbourhood printer today and it came out lookin' fine.

AND I AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THE MOSAIC MUSIC FESTIVAL. Jason Mraz's tickets are sold out, which is a bummer. Ma won't let me go to Jose Gonzalez's one cause it's too late. So I think I'll drop by and soak in the free performances and atmosphere.

REASON #482 TO GET A RICH LOVING BOYFRIEND:
Tickets to the festival, and someone to go with.

I prefer Mosaic to Womad and Baybeats. In fact, I like them in that order.

I make delicious Spaghetti and home-made Meatballs.

REASON #483 TO GET A RICH LOVING BOYFRIEND:
Someone to get fat eating Spaghetti and Meatballs with.

I love that list. *insert evil laughter here*

Job interview tomorrow. Wish me luck. Sabby needs the dough.

xxx

2007-02-20T16:47:00.000+08:00

SPENCERLANE IS LOVE

It's good at the moment that I don't have Spencerlane in my playlist, cause then, when I do go to their site and listen from there, it makes it all the more sweeter to listen to. Like longing for some chocolate and have to wait a bloody long time for it. Then when you finally do it, it tastes so much better.

Spencerlane is the love.

Anyway, my parents finally found me something to do. It's kinda like a job, except that I don't get paid unless my work is selected. But it's been fun so far. New respect for all those graphic designers and stuff. You guys have patience and brains. I'm suppose to do my work. It's due in 9 mins but you know me, my attention span isn't to die for.

Oh! Pa, Nana and I went to ECP yesterday to cycle. But it was raining. But cycling in the rain was fun. And I didn't crash! Unlike some people. The only time I came close to crashing into my dad's bike was when that hot skaterdude and his friends walked past me topless. So you really can't blame me :D

I have to go down to return the vcds. Alot Like Love was nice, but draggy. Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants made me want to cry every three seconds. School of Rock was awesome. I would rip it, but Bob's low on memory. And Rock School was jaw-dropping.

Well, I better get back to work. See you, bitches.

2007-02-18T23:48:00.000+08:00

I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M WAITING FOR ANYMORE

*insert Shotgun Serenade lyrics here*

'nuff said.

and oh, in light of recent revelations, i really, really, really, ah, forget it. another movie calls my name.

2007-02-17T00:08:00.000+08:00

4567784

Went to watch Ghost Rider today with the mother and sister. Not too bad.

And there was this guy sitting in front of us at dinner. Like, at our table, opposite us. He was a little...disturbed. He kept talking to someone, and I have to admit, that it did kinda spook me a little. But hey, he didn't harm us and he left in a weird hurry so yeah.

Anyway, my friend Scott introduced me to xkcd webcomics. You can get to them by going to xkcd.com. Anyway, I was in a rush when I was talking to Scott earlier so I only managed to see the one he sent me, which was...

I promised him I'll check out the rest later on, and when I got home, I did, and I have spent the last hour or so going through every single one of them. Some are hilarious, while others are too smart for me to understand. But here are a couple of my favourites.

2007-02-15T23:32:00.000+08:00

GUITAR IN HAND, ROCK IN HEART

*opens one finger from hands that are covering my eyes*

Is it over? Is Valentine's really over?

Thank God.

The only nice thing that happened on Valentine's was that my daddy got my mommy the prettiest tulips and two of the most gorgeous plants ever.

<3 (: <3

Since I was the one who decided that I was going to celebrate CNY this year, I get to decide how I celebrate it. Hence, I decided that I should celebrate it by renting several vcds and staying in to watch them. Brilliant. Oh, and a possible picnic at ECP.

Tomorrow's Friday, which only means one thing -> Exercise Day. Another 3km walk/cycyle/run. You don't see me jumping for joy. And now there's a no-eating-after-8.30pm rule.

Again, no whoopee-yay-hoo.

Well, there's another vcd I wanted to watch by tonight. Rock School. I already have the shirt anyway. And School of Rock was the bomb. Yay Freddy.

Cheers.

(ps: God, I miss everyone already.)

2007-02-13T23:20:00.000+08:00

TRUE LOVE

Today was glorious.

Sun, sand, sea, bicycle rides, pineapple tarts, condoms, confessions, cake, jumps, rides, broken slippers, barefootedness, bus rides, geylang, sandy feet, pretty pipes, wedding plans, ice, phandas, pasta, cards, bluff, screaming kids, missing footwear, whipped cream,
'sand'wiches, sand shadows, and love.

Thank you to all who were there.

And Nigel, happy 18th. A little early, but hell. You've already had your "suprise" cake and presents.

walking home barefoot was an eye-opening experience.

loves!

2007-02-12T00:28:00.000+08:00

BOTTLE UP OLD LOVE, THROW IT OUT TO SEA

Can't be more apt, though I really don't know why.

Welcome, Week of Love.

Okay, this is turning out to be a stupid, random entry. I miss my friends - online, offline, and otherwise. And I miss, er, oh yeah, those moments when everything seems suspended in time.

Rahh, whatever la. Ooh, look, Utt's on TV.

And you have gotta check out my pin-hole shades (you'll laugh your ass off) and my new shawl. Nothing perks a girl up like a little shopping.

Oh, by the way, it's been too long since oe of those darn lazy afternoons by the cafe thing.

2007-02-09T23:50:00.000+08:00

I'M NOT SURE OF ANYTHING, BUT I COULD SURE USE A HAND

NEWS ALERT!

After much hesistation and laziness and down right stubborness, I finally went running! Amazing. Nana and I went for a 3kn night run just now. Fine, she ran the whole 3km. I ran 1k, and brisk walked the rest. Which is not too bad considering how unfit I am. I don't feel any thinner, but I do feel more woozy.

And my knee's threatening to give in. Pass the painkillers.

Anyway, today was spent waking up late ("Nina, are you still asleep?"), watching Dylan's Couch, and cleaning my room. And here are pictures.

The cake I bought myself after Writ Comm submission. See Brownie, celebrate with cake!

Library shots ahead.

Dear Nitha and I on the pretty couches with the pretty view.

It's never been this neat since Christmas.

Oh Gosh, what's that up there?

It's Alexandro the Snake!

Running tires me out. I'm sleepy. I could use more cake. But that would defeat the whole healthy-living thing.

xoxo

2007-02-07T23:23:00.000+08:00

OH MY GOD, THIS HURTS LIKE HELL

I was at Yahoo when I came across this.

How sweet. It's a couple hugging, yes hugging. They were found in Italy. Locked in an eternal embrace. I think it's so sweet that they died that way. I wanna die that way. Happy and with the one I love.

It's a week to Valentine's. I'm taking Nigel's advice. I'm sleeping in.

TUESDAY, 13TH FEBRUARY!
CLASS OUTING!
EAST COAST PARK!
PICNIC/CYCLING TRIP!
MESSAGE ME BY FRIDAY IF YOU CAN MAKE IT!
BRING FOOD AND LOVE!
more details coming your way.

2007-02-06T23:58:00.000+08:00

EMO KINKO

I'm wondering if I should or should not go for a morning run tomorrow morning. I could use the air and the heart pumping blood thing. And I could use the time to think.

Nah, I can think about it as I laze in bed. I'll go for an evening run maybe. Cooler air.

And anyway, I think I may have Coccydynia. That's right. Brilliant Sabrina fell down the stairs and bruised her tailbone. So running maybe be out of the question for the weeks to come.

Of all things, I had to bruise my tailbone. The perks of being clumsy, eh? Anyway, I think it was that fall at the front door steps when I was on my way to dinner with Sarah. I was wearing my mom's heels when I of course tripped and fell on my ass. I think I should go to the doctor soon if the pain persists. It's been like a month already? But the whole finger up the ass thing is kinda putting me off.

Second full day in a row that I spent at the National Library. Writ Comm is turning us into nerds, I tell you. But I love going to the Nat Lib to work cause it's comfortable, and the view is gorgeous. Here's a peek.

It's of course more breath-taking when you're there on the 11th storey looking down.

Being emo kinko ain't the best feeling in the world, I have to say.

And, I have to congratulate my Soc Psych group on a job well done! Amazing job, guys!

Well, back to The Proposal. I pray to God we all manage to pass poly and survive the world.

2007-02-04T23:56:00.000+08:00

WILL YOU, PLEASE?

First sunday in a long time where we don't have school tomorrow.

Anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADLINA, THE CRAZY, BITCHY AND BESTEST SISTER I COULD ASK FOR. I'm not sure when you will read this but I LOVE YOU. You put up will all my rubbish and sometimes become the elder one, but at the end of the day, you're my best friend and the one who I can run to and yell SHAWABANGA and THE SUN IS SHINING AT 4 O'CLOCK!!! I LOVE YOU, YOU DUMB ASS. And yes, we shall send our kids to soccer school and go for high teas.

AND TAKE CARE OF THAT DESIGNER, BRANDED, ONE-OF-A-KIND PURSE I GAVE YOU. IT'S DESIGNER IS FREAKING HOT (:

I was blog-hopping, reading what everyone had to say on their blogs about the end of the year, reading my own post again and again, and it was a sad experience. I'm not the kind to usually cry at stuff I read (minus the time I CRIED LIKE A BABY READING PEARL HABOUR), but a couple of the stuff I read did make me go "awww..." and have that warm, fuzzy feeling in my heart. Maybe I'll cry later. (:

I was watching the repeat of the 1st leg finals and I realised that it wasn't a foul. So I felt kinda bad for cursing the Thais at the stadium. But from where I was, it did look like a foul! Anyway, I felt bad. Then I watched the 2nd leg, and their sportsmanship was not as nice as it should be, so I don't really care about them. Hah. Singapore won and I am doing the victory dance.

Lionel Lewis should be knighted.

Nana's birthday weekend was spent eating out, shopping, and more eating. I love birthdays. But I love that nehneh more. LOL.

I just feel a little lost. I no longer have a class, no timetable, and no routine. I freaking hate change. I was programmed to not like change. I hate change.

I hate not having anything to wake up to/for.

I never thought I'd say this, but I miss school and I miss my friends. Mona, Nitha, Charmaine, Nigel, Mehul, Rae, Mok, Shafik and all the others. All those that I spent the last few days with. No one can replace any one of them.

Ah well.

I always thought it would end differently between us. But it's time to move on.

I miss my god-brother too. Just one more lazy afternoon in a cafe by the street with drinks and nothing but honest talk. Where did you go? I'm hoping this is one more of those times where you disappear for months or years at a stretch, but in the end, come back home. Like how you'll just appear by the table and I'll give you another big hug and say, "You're still alive!" There's so much I could use your say in. Oh well. Maybe next time.

It's late. I have that promo thing to get done and radio to wrap up.

xoxo

2007-02-02T22:55:00.000+08:00

POST #200, AND THE LONGEST TO DATE

So, someone tell me where are the rewind and replay buttons?

It's the last day of school. There's this overwhelming feeling, like, well, it's just an overwhelming feeling. I'm kinda relieved the year's over, kinda sad too. Kinda excited for the new year, kinda scared too.

Most of all, I'm upset that the class will be seperated. (At this moment in time, every single contact on my Skype list went offline one after another.)

It's been a long year, and it's been a hard year too, for all of us. It was definitely a huge change coming into poly and I can say that for myself and for many others.

I remember on the first day of school, on the orientation day, I was so afraid. I had this silly, nagging, but very real fear of not making friends. I was so afraid that no one would want to be my friend. (At this point of time, everyone came back on. Weird. I'm starting to think it's my Skype that's screwed. Gnomes, I know.)

Anyway, I had that fear.

But now, and this is a repeat of the toast I made at Rae's house, those strangers have turned into friends, many of whom are now like family. There are people in class I know I am grateful to have been able to meet. People who have not only made my life much better, but also made me a better person.

I can easily say I've grown and matured so much through this first year, and the class has undoubtedly helped. I have made so many amazing friends that have been with me through every step of Mass Comm. People who have done an AMAZING job of putting up with me and loving me through Locvid, Radio, Writ Comm, Speech, and everything else.

We've been through bitch fights, tears, laughter, emo moments at the jetty, and at Vivo, fun times at SIM and Alumni, and basically everywhere else we went.

We have our inside jokes and our little pranks. We have our nicknames for each others and we know everyone's dirty little secrets (cue for evil laughter and lightning effects here). We have our secret corners and secret code names.

What I'm trying to say is that we have grown as a unit, we have loved and hated each other (some more than others but that's another story), and there is no way in hell that I am going to find another group of people like T105/10.

It's a little disappointing at how we ended the year today, cause the whole class wasn't really there, we were all stuck with radio, and lunch, though fun, was only a handful of people. It would have been way better if everyone was there, and we were able to hug and say our 'I love you's and 'I'm sorry's and 'Oh my gosh, like, I'm like so going to like miss you's, but I'll take what I can get. And that was that lovely lunch.

Hopefully, we can meet up during the holidays for dinner and have that last bonding session.

A couple of weeks ago, I remember being in Canteen 1 with Shafik (eating muah chee and ice longan, of course), and he was saying stuff like 'I'll miss Estella and her boss-ness, and Nigel and his laughter' and all that, and I said to him 'Don't talk about this now, it's a long way more to go.'

But here it is now. This is goodbye.

IF YOU SEE ME WALKING DOWN THE CORRIDOR NEXT SEMESTER, DON'T YOU DARE WALK PAST, PRETENDING NOT TO SEE ME AND NOT SAY HI. I WILL SLAP YOU.

But honestly, I will miss you guys with every fibre of my being. I love you guys with every sense of life. And I cannot express how much you guys mean to me.

I have truly been blessed. Truly, truly blessed, and loved and I could only hope that I have half the friend you guys have been to me.

Ashley: We've never been close, but you have been a great classmate, and please don't be scared of the sun. The sun gives life.

Candy: The little singer of the class. We have never been the closest of friends, but we have worked together several times and you're a great girl! Thanks.

Charmaine: I LOVE YOU, YOU BLONDE. Gosh, everyday, you're just such a joy to be around. I really, really, love you. And, and, and, I really hope to go to that pizza place soon!

Del: Our little banana. And the ray of sunshine. You're so cute and adorable and I love you, you softball girl.

Ervin: Again, we're never been close but school has been interesting with you around, and I probably wouldn't have been able to do Locvid and now Writ Comm without you.

Estella: BOSS! THANKS FOR ALL THE LAUGHTER AND MAKING LECTURES EASIER BECAUSE I HAVE YOU BY MY SIDE. I LOVE YOU!

Jamie: Miss B&J! We haven't worked together much, and we've never been close but we did have our *B to B* and love scenes and I will never forget the sampan!

Jessinta: I don't think I have ever worked with you, but it's okay. You're been a nice classmate and I thank you for that.

Juvia: Green tea and jeans! That's how I'll remember you. You take care!

Mehul: BRUDDER! The attack of the screaming vegetables! Thanks, man. I LOVE, LOVE MY FUNK SOUL BRUDDER. We are hot. Heh.

Mona: Hey you. That day at Al-Ameen, at Vivo and everywhere else. You have been such a great, great friend. Thanks. I love you. I still can't answer that 'why is everything weird' question, but I can say that we're strong and we'll pull through and come out stronger. I love you!

Mok: MOK MOK MAKES EVERYONE GO LOCO. I less than 3 you all the way to the moon and back!

Nigel: Oh man, I just remembered that Locvid where you were the police man! OH GOSH I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING NOW. Thanks, Nige, you've been an angel. The bestest son I've had. Loads of love to you.

Nitha: !!! I LOVE YOU. Thanks for Thaipusam and for being there for me and I love you and I love you and I love you. Oh yeah, one more thing, I LOVE YOU!

Qixin: Darling, you're patience is amazing. I must learn from you. I love you and I love your polka dots!

Rae: HEY HEY. TIE YOUR PHONE TO YOUR HANDS OR SOMETHING. I love you too. Oh man, we've grown so much together. We're been through heaven and hell and I just want to say that you've been superb and I love you so.

Shafik: Oh God, this is hilarious. My 1st NP friend. You know I love you. And I know you love me back. Possibly one of the few people in the entire world that can take my nonsense and rubbish and survive to tell the story. Thanks. YOU'RE MY NUMBER ONE HOMIE (P.Rosie comes in a close second)!

Xianjie: Ah Jie ah, I LOVE YOU. I love your pictures and I love your humour and I know you'll get married and have kids and I repeat KIDS, and they'll all be camera trotting kids and I love you, TOMMY-SAN!

Xiuling: RGPS and now, NP. You're such a sweetheart. We still haven't gone back to RGPS! We must go one day!

It's been a beautiful journey and 1,300 words can't do justice to what we have.

But things come to an end, and I wish all of you well and love and hope and faith.

Thank you so much.

With love,
Sabrina (:

2007-01-31T00:36:00.000+08:00

I DIDN'T MEAN TO FALL IN LOVE (WITH YOU)

1) the tea worked. i'm wide awake now. at least, more awake.

2) THE TICKETS WERE SOLD OUT. sad.

3) plain white t's a lonely september reminds me of me. at first it reminded me of someone else. but the more i listened, the more i realised that it was something i could easily relate to. too easily.

4) this blog is rapidly becoming a song review place. hah.

5) speech. glorious speech. writ comm waits for speech.

6) sleep. even more glorious sleep.

7) but i'm over it right? so the song doesn't apply any more.

8) right?

2007-01-30T20:56:00.000+08:00

BRUISED

check out jack's mannequin's bruised. lovely song, but i don't really get it.

anyway, pa went to get tickets to tomorrow's game. WOOHOO.

my body is exhausted but the mind's awake. i need to brew a pot of tea and drink it and get on with speech and writ comm and pray everything will be okay.

tea is good. tea will make me stronger.

tea will also make me pee.

okay, okay, the pyscho-bablling is about to begin so i better go before it does.

LIPTON! I LOVE YOU!

2007-01-29T23:54:00.000+08:00

RAIN, RAIN, GO AWAY; All THE WORLD IS WAITING FOR THE SUN

it's monday, and yet, i'm already exhausted. funny how simple, little things can tire you out like this.

today was spent at the national library, then around bugis, back at the library, a rush down to school, and a rush back home for dinner.

and now, the hurried rush to get work done. but i am so sleepy. which is weird cause i had tea and coffee (hazelnut latte!), so i should be WIDE AWAKE, but i'm not.

anyway, it's the gnomes. always blame the gnomes, or the coffee.

all the world's waiting for the sun.

2007-01-28T01:22:00.000+08:00

HEY THERE DELILAH

okay, i don't usually post lyrics, but in this case, i just have too. thanks many, many to shafik cause he gave me this song and now it's on single repeat. and charmaine loves it too. and i love it. it's been playing for about 12 hours now. read lyrics, get the song and watch the video. it's by PLAIN WHITE T'S.

Hey there Delilah
What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall
We'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

it's so sweet. oh man. i want this to be my lullaby. and i think he must have been really, really, REALLY in love to write something like this.

i am so jealous of delilah right now.

OH. DELILAH AND SABRINA HAVE THREE SYLLABLES EACH! okay, change all the 'delilah' to 'sabrina'!

how can you not love this song?

oh, and i want to marry someone like landon carter, okay?

ah, if only.

if only.